Real Quotes from Auto Insurance Claim Forms

1. I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
2. I knocked over a man. He admitted it was his fault as he had been run over before.
3. I collided with a stationary tramcar coming the other way.
4. I consider that neither vehicle was to blame but if either were to blame it was the other vehicle.
5. I left my Austin Seven outside and when I came out later to my amazement there was an Austin Twelve.
6. Car had to turn sharper than was necessary.
7. To avoid a collision I ran into the other car.
8. 'The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him.
9. The other car collided with mine without giving any warning of its intention.
10. The other man altered his mind so I had to run into him.
11. I told the other idiot what he was and went on.
12. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
13. I unfortunately ran over a pedestrian and the old gentleman was taken to hospital, much regretting the circumstances.
14. I thought the side window was down but it was up, as I found when I put my head through it.
15. If the other driver had stopped a few yards behind himself the accident would not have happened.
16. She suddenly saw me, lost her head and we met.
17. Cow wandered into my car. I was afterwards informed that the cow was half-witted.
18. Three women were talking to each other and when two stepped back and one stepped forward I had to have an accident.
19. There were plenty of lookers-on but no witnesses.
20. A bull was standing near and a fly must have tickled him because he gored my car.
21. I was scraping my nearside on the bank when the accident happened.
22. After the accident a working gentleman offered to be a witness in my favour.
23. I collided with a stationary tree.
24. There was no damage done to the car, as the gatepost will testify.
25. Ice on the road applied brakes causing skid.
26. One wheel went into a ditch. My foot jumped from brake to accelerator pedal, leapt across the road to the other side and jumped into the trunk of a tree.
27. The water in my radiator accidentally froze at 12 midnight.
28. I was taking a friend home and keeping two yards from each lamp post which were in a straight line. Unfortunately, there was a bend in the road bringing the right-hand lamp post in line with the other and of course I landed in a ditch.
29. I bumped into a lamp post which was obscured by human beings.
30. I bumped into a shop window and sustained injuries to my wife.